Why can't anything in my life come easily?

It just really seems that things have to keep pushing me and pushing me and pushing me until I finally break. I'm about to that point already. I just want things to FOR ONCE go right without problems, without a lot of snags but it NEVER happens that way. Something is ALWAYS complicated and I'm SO TIRED OF IT!

John has moved to our new place. It's a STUDIO APARTMENT. I couldn't even have a roommate in college because living in such close quarters with someone else about drove me insane and I have to spend the next up to two years in a studio? The other option is to find a place of our own but there are a couple of problems with that including the need for up to 5 million won for the deposit. To put that simply, that's about two months of John's salary. And while there is a housing allowance, I'm not sure how much of the rent would be covered with it (because even with the deposit, we would STILL have to pay rent!). One of the HUGE reasons for going over there was because housing was going to be covered. I could handle a one bedroom. But a studio? Not having a place to go when everything is overwhelming for me is NOT good. It's going to be like a pot on high with the lid on. I'm going to blow up at some point. I'm almost to that point now. I'm very burned out having played this single parent thing for almost four months. I don't know what to do and I'm FURIOUS with John about this. He just NEVER considers my mental capabilities. My ability to cope with stress has been SEVERELY compromised since the murder. And having gone through what I've been going through the last four months is NOT going to help. And I haven't even gotten on the plane! Why does he do this to me? Sometimes I think he likes pushing me to see how much I can handle before I completely have a mental breakdown. I really do. *sigh*

So, in other news, the baby is still hanging in there. My sister will be 37 weeks on Tuesday and so far, so good. So, we'll see if she makes her appearance before I leave on Sunday for Chicago. I'll be spending a few days there with family before I finally fly out of O'Hare on Wednesday the 11th. It's not a happy situation I'll be leaving either. She is going through with the divorce as her husband has decided that he prefers the other woman. It really sucks for her but I think eventually, she'll be better off. Unfortunately, his parents are sticking their noses where it don't belong and are trying to get my sister AND her husband to terminate their parental rights and turn the kids over to them. Which I think is SO wrong especially since one of the kids isn't even their biological grandchild and the adoption was never completed. They seem to think though that they are better suited because they have a house and cars and money and can take the kids to Disneyworld and garbage like that. I think things could get VERY ugly before it is all over with.

So that's pretty much it in a nutshell. Did my taxes today finally (but hey, a full month before I did them last year and MUCH earlier than I did my state which was pretty late) and hopefully, the refund will show up before I leave. Could really use the money.