...not that I could with the all day every day nausea but that's another story. I finally went in for an appointment today. John thought he had the day off so he scheduled an appointment for me at this one clinic that was recommended to me. Unfortunately, he found out that actually he did have to work but he just did one class today and took the rest of the day off to take me to my appointment since we really didn't know how to get to the place. So I went in and talked to the doctor and all that stuff and they did an ultrasound and there it was. At first we didn't see anything but then he found the little bean and we got to hear the heartbeat. We got a picture too which is weird since we didn't get a picture of Natalie until I was 18 weeks pregnant with her.
So yeah, I am definitely pregnant. I'm 10 weeks and 5 days along. I found out about 36 hours after I got to the US back in November. It's been a struggle dealing with the news and dealing with the fact that I will likely have to have the baby here unless I manage to find someone who can take me and Natalie in for three months until I have the baby in the US which I highly doubt. I wish I could say that seeing the doctor helped but with the language barrier and the fact that they have absolutely NO experience with plus sized women (they didn't have a blood pressure cuff big enough for my unfortunately large upper arms), I'm nervous. It didn't help that the peeing in the cup thing was just LOADS of fun. You see, some places in Korea do not have normal toilets. They have a toilet bowl in the floor that you have to sort of squat over and try to pee into (and somehow, at the same time, NOT pee on your clothes). I have tried VERY VERY hard to avoid these kinds of toilets and have managed to in the nine months I've been here (Natalie freaks out when she sees one and absolutely refuses to use them). Today, I had no choice but to not only pee into a cup but to do so while standing over this toilet bowl in the floor. I really don't know if I can do this here, I really don't. John and I had no intention to get pregnant and have the baby while we were still here. This was definitely not planned, a pull and pray that did not work this time around (though we THOUGHT we had pulled out in time).
I'm feeling very lost, very vulnerable, and just very overwhelmed and I really don't know what to do. And if that's not enough, I'm nauseous every single day from the time I get up until the time I go to bed and if anything, it's getting worse, not better (though I'm glad to see there was just ONE baby in there, I was beginning to think maybe I was having twins). The only thing I'm finding comforting about this is something I read that told me that bad nausea lead to a higher probability of girls over boys which is good, I'd rather have a girl because if we have a boy, John wants him circumcised and I don't even want to go there.
So, we'll see what happens. Next appointment is the end of January and hopefully they won't do so much this time around, it wasn't cheap!
