March hasn't exactly been an easy month. The end of February, John's job ended because the after school English program was terminated at the school he had been working at. So that meant that both he and his co-teachers were to be transferred to another school where another after school English program would be set up. Only, it didn't start until March 22. He was told he would get the time up to that off and at first, I was worried because I didn't know if he would be paid for that time or not and that would have been REALLY bad since we're trying to get enough money together for me to go home. He was reassured that he would be getting paid but then he was pulled in almost every day for busy work which he was NOT told about until the last minute. So that was really stressful especially since we're been trying to figure out how I could get to my prenatal appointments including my ultrasound.
March 4, I got news from my younger sister that her father-in-law from her first marriage has lung cancer. This is really bad news for all of us because he sort of unofficially adopted us all after his son was killed back in 2003. Since my parents are not in my life and John's parents are dead, he has become the only grandparent Natalie has. And now, he has lung cancer and has been told he has as little as two months to as long as two years to live. So, I've been trying to make plans to get back to Wisconsin as soon as possible which, with our money issues, has been VERY difficult to accomplish. I never really did hear back from anyone I had sent emails to which has been very frustrating so I don't know what's going to happen when I finally do get back, IF I even get back.
March 9th, we went in for the ultrasound. I had actually found another OB to do it because the one I had been seeing will not tell parents the sex of the baby before 36 weeks due to South Korea's ban on telling parents the sex. The reason for this ban is because parents are more likely to abort a girl than a boy even though abortions are illegal in Korea. I was also hoping that this OB would be more favorable towards doing a VBAC but nope, she wasn't. We did at least find out that we are having another GIRL! So that was one HUGE weight off of my shoulders since having a boy would mean having to decide whether to circ or not circ and while I'm on the fence about it, John is very much for them and it was just really stressing me out because so many people are against circumcisions this day and age. So we found that out and we're tentatively thinking of Isabel for a name (unless something better comes along). Still tossing around a few ideas for middle name too. I'm somewhat unsure about Isabel for a name though because, while I like it a lot, the problem is is that so do a lot of people. It's one of the more popular names out there. Well, Isabella is, Isabel is a little further down the list but when you factor in all the spellings and everything, it's up in the top ten for names and I'm not quite so sure how I feel about that. Then again, Natalie turned out to be a far more popular than I expected it to be going from 18% the year she was born to around 13% now. Why can't my name ever become popular?
Not much has happened since then, just a lot of stress trying to figure out how I'm going to get back to the US, where I'm going to live as far as an apartment, how I'm going to get all of this figured out over all. And the frustrating thing is just when it seems to all be coming together, something happens to completely and totally screw it up.
I'm still not insured. I was insured for about a week. We found out when we went in for the ultrasound that no, I was NOT on the insurance. Obviously I got kicked off of that when John's job changed. So we had to pay full price for the ultrasound which was around $70. Yes, I know that's cheap but when you're trying to save up money, it's not something that we can afford all the time, especially when in the US, it would have been free because we would have been eligible for medical assistance. So, since the ultrasound, I haven't been in to see the OB. The last time I saw him was back when I was 15 weeks and he didn't do anything because I refused the ultrasound. So, really, the last time a full appointment was done was back when I was 11 weeks. Great, huh? So, really, I'm not getting that great of prenatal care here, definitely not like I had when I was pregnant with Natalie. VERY frustrating. I really need to see a chiropractor and I haven't been able to do that because of the insurance issues. I'm in a TON of pain in my pelvis and in the back of my left leg. But, even if I did have insurance, the insurance will most likely NOT cover chiropractic care (again, another way that medical assistance in Wisconsin is better than the national health insurance here) and even if it did, the nearest place for me is likely going to be all the way in Seoul which is an hour or so away by bus/subway/both.
And now, we've reached the end of the month and one of the concerns I had came through. Since John started at a new job this month, I was concerned that he would not get paid because that's happened before when he started back in July. He didn't get paid for over a month and then he didn't get paid for the first couple of weeks. Well, he checked his account tonight and NOTHING. I was NOT happy. I immediately sent a text message to John's co-teacher and we finally heard back from her that while John would get paid for the three weeks BEFORE he started at the new school, he would not get the money for working at the new school until NEXT month. This was NOT what I wanted to hear because that means John only gets paid 2/3s of what he normally makes a month and, to top it off, this makes it ALL too easy for the school to decide to ONLY pay him for the month of April, especially since he NEVER gets anything that tells him what gets paid and what gets taken out for taxes and things. He just gets the money into his account. It's happened before, back in July when he first started working down here in Yongin. He never did get the week and a half that he was entitled to. A lot of the time, they explain it away by saying it was training and therefore, he's not entitled to it. It really has soured my feelings towards people here and it has really caused me to become very distrustful of the employers here because it has become VERY obvious that they care little for their employees that they bring in from other countries and just basically dump here. It has me VERY concerned about what is going to happen when July comes around. John is SUPPOSED to be getting a severance in July but based on what has happened so far, I'm not so inclined to believe that's going to happen. And even if it did, when would he get it? Technically, his contract doesn't end until July 21st. I'm due July 17th.
So, once again, we're trying to figure out how all of this is going to work and at times, I really start to think that it's not and that I'm going to end up having this baby here, very likely via cesarean, very likely unconscious. Either that or it's going to end up being a totally unassisted birth. I'm very unsure as how we're going to be able to afford everything when things are SO expensive here. There are three of us crammed into a one bedroom apartment with a teeny tiny bathroom that doesn't even have a separate shower but just a shower head attached to the bathroom sink (which means you have to use the WHOLE bathroom as the shower). How in the world are we going to fit a fourth person in here? Where am I going to get all of the things I need for a baby when everything is two-three times as much as they are in the US (and there are NO garage sales from which to buy things?). I feel SO overwhelmed and SO very depressed at times. I hate when people say that God doesn't give you more than you can handle. It's a big fat LIE. Because He does, many many many times and has done so to me more times than is at all fair. Just ONCE, I would like things to go right. Just ONE STUPID LITTLE TIME. With everything I have gone through, I think I deserve that much. But no, things just keep going wrong and keep not falling into place and I'm really getting sick and tired of it all.
