One thing for sure, living in a place that's really too small for you motivates you to go out because otherwise you would go insane from cabin fever. We get out, quite a bit. Sometimes we go out during the week and take it easy during the weekend and sometimes we get out during the weekend and not as much during the week. John has a five day weekend (along with many other ESL teachers in Korea) due to the Korean holiday coming up that's basically their Thanksgiving and Christmas combined. So, naturally, the plan is to go out and do things because five days cooped up with both John and Natalie is sure to drive me NUTS! In the meantime, I've also been joining groups both online and in person (the one sort of leads to the other). One of the first things I found was a group for those who go to the Mosaic which is an English cafe at a subway stop just three down from ours called Jeongja. There's food and a place to sit and relax and it's just a nice place for people who speak English to meet up. So, it started there. Then I found another group (which I had kind of perused before but didn't join since it didn't seem very active but when I did join, things kind of started to get hopping and I was able to find out about places to go to and I even got an MP3 play from a group member for a nice price ($120 for a Samsung P3 which is AWESOME!). That led to joining a writing guild that meets once a week. It has also led to joining an online group called Stitch & Bitch (that's honestly the name of it!) which has to do with knitting which I had been thinking of taking up because I needed a hobby to keep me occupied. So, I met one of the members for the first time last night and she introduced me to knitting. I found that to be very relaxing and now I just need to find some nicer yarn but I've heard that yarn is kind of expensive here. Another group I joined on Facebook introduced me to one person who just moved to the Seoul area and we met for the first time on Saturday and have made plans to meet up again today.
Whew! And that doesn't include the person I met a couple of weeks ago from either the same group or another group I met the person I'm getting together with today. lol Most have been of the non-parental nature but to be honest, I actually kind of like that. It's a nice break from the parenting thing. That probably sounds bad but there are times when it gets overwhelming and I could use a little bit of a break. John is a perfectly capable father and is able to deal with any issues that may come up. I think it helps me be a better parent because then I'm able to regroup and be able to focus on parenting again. I'm one of those people who need adult interaction. I can let loose but I need to be able to have adult conversations and John isn't much for them (other than the occasional pillow talk once we get Natalie in bed and that's if HE'S not asleep) and Natalie makes it next to impossible to really have an adult conversation and naturally, Natalie just isn't old enough. I was getting some through my various online groups but I wanted to be able to go out, go shopping, and do things without worrying about my three year old having a temper tantrum in the middle of the store.
It's one of the big reasons why I'm really looking into going to the US without Natalie in November. Admittedly, a big part of it is that I would be staying with my best friend and her house is not child friendly (understandably, she has no kids). It would be kind of stressful staying with her with Natalie. I wouldn't be going to the US otherwise, to be honest. My friend has been wanting me to come back and visit, especially once she moved out of her apartment where the landlord only allowed her guests to stay for two days a week. It's all tentative though and there's still a lot details to work out but I'm hoping it all goes through. It would be nice to spend the time with my best friend and be able to bake, shop, and have Thanksgiving dinner. If it ends up not going through though, it's good to know that I won't be bored at least, especially since the cooler weather will make walking through the various markets easier.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
This really bothers me...
There's a family I became aware of not too long ago on one of my parenting boards. The mom was asking for prayers because she was facing prosecution for having a homebirth in Ohio. Yes, prosecution, she was facing charges for endangering her child's life for having a homebirth. A group on Facebook has been set up and you can join it here:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1017828571&v=feed&story_fbid=173459489767#/group.php?gid=140938029710
I think this is absolutely absurd. This has NOTHING to do with the health of the baby. In this situation especially, the baby was fine. Mom was blacking out a little and the midwife didn't have oxygen (since I guess it was illegal for her to have it on her) so it was decided that the family would call the EMTs to be on the safe side. It was doing that that has brought about these charges. But again, this has nothing to do with the health of the baby or babies in general. In the Netherlands, about 30% of births are homebirths. In the US, about 33% of births are cesareans. Take a guess as to which country has the lower infant mortality rate. I'll make it easy, it's NOT the United States. So, if the high rate of homebirths in the Netherlands leaves that country with a lower infant mortality rate than why is this woman being prosecuted? Money, pure and simple. Money has lead various groups to go against homebirths because as long as women give birth at home, hospitals lose money. I mean, you do know that hospitals make a TON of money off of births, don't you? Yeah, they do and they make even more money when a women ends up with a cesarean, considerably more. So, these groups play off of the fears of women, make them afraid of something happening to their babies, and really push home the idea that the ONLY SAFE place for a woman to have a baby is a hospital.
Now, don't get me wrong, for some women that is the safest place. Women with high risks pregnancies are best served in a hospital. But for women with healthy, low risk pregnancies, there's little to no reason to go to a hospital unless that is what the woman wants. But really, to be honest, doctors make pregnancy sound like a risky venture, don't they?
The fact that this family is facing these trials greatly concern me, especially as I consider any future birth plans of my own. My daughter's birth was a rather traumatic cesarean (with lots of drama just moments before the surgery between my husband and my family) and it has taken me a long time to recover from that and I'm still not fully recovered from it. I'm scared to become pregnant. I am honest to goodness scared of becoming pregnant. At the same time, I feel the urge to have another child but that fear, at the moment, is still stronger. I'm scared of getting pregnant here because I don't think it's possible to have a VBAC in a situation where I don't know the native language. I'm scared of getting pregnant at home because my options are limited. My chance of having another cesarean are pretty high and that concerns me. I've already told John that if I ever get pregnant again and that pregnancy ends with a cescarean, it WILL be my last. I will request a tubal at that point. Twice will be bad enough, I will not go through a third time. And I will not go through another several years of being afraid to become pregnant.
Roe vs Wade was about women having reproductive rights and making decisions about their own bodies. Why is it that women can make that decision when it comes to killing her child but she can't make those decisions when it comes to bringing her child into the world?
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1017828571&v=feed&story_fbid=173459489767#/group.php?gid=140938029710
I think this is absolutely absurd. This has NOTHING to do with the health of the baby. In this situation especially, the baby was fine. Mom was blacking out a little and the midwife didn't have oxygen (since I guess it was illegal for her to have it on her) so it was decided that the family would call the EMTs to be on the safe side. It was doing that that has brought about these charges. But again, this has nothing to do with the health of the baby or babies in general. In the Netherlands, about 30% of births are homebirths. In the US, about 33% of births are cesareans. Take a guess as to which country has the lower infant mortality rate. I'll make it easy, it's NOT the United States. So, if the high rate of homebirths in the Netherlands leaves that country with a lower infant mortality rate than why is this woman being prosecuted? Money, pure and simple. Money has lead various groups to go against homebirths because as long as women give birth at home, hospitals lose money. I mean, you do know that hospitals make a TON of money off of births, don't you? Yeah, they do and they make even more money when a women ends up with a cesarean, considerably more. So, these groups play off of the fears of women, make them afraid of something happening to their babies, and really push home the idea that the ONLY SAFE place for a woman to have a baby is a hospital.
Now, don't get me wrong, for some women that is the safest place. Women with high risks pregnancies are best served in a hospital. But for women with healthy, low risk pregnancies, there's little to no reason to go to a hospital unless that is what the woman wants. But really, to be honest, doctors make pregnancy sound like a risky venture, don't they?
The fact that this family is facing these trials greatly concern me, especially as I consider any future birth plans of my own. My daughter's birth was a rather traumatic cesarean (with lots of drama just moments before the surgery between my husband and my family) and it has taken me a long time to recover from that and I'm still not fully recovered from it. I'm scared to become pregnant. I am honest to goodness scared of becoming pregnant. At the same time, I feel the urge to have another child but that fear, at the moment, is still stronger. I'm scared of getting pregnant here because I don't think it's possible to have a VBAC in a situation where I don't know the native language. I'm scared of getting pregnant at home because my options are limited. My chance of having another cesarean are pretty high and that concerns me. I've already told John that if I ever get pregnant again and that pregnancy ends with a cescarean, it WILL be my last. I will request a tubal at that point. Twice will be bad enough, I will not go through a third time. And I will not go through another several years of being afraid to become pregnant.
Roe vs Wade was about women having reproductive rights and making decisions about their own bodies. Why is it that women can make that decision when it comes to killing her child but she can't make those decisions when it comes to bringing her child into the world?
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