Making some changes on here yet again.

If you've been reading my blog, you'll notice I do post about a lot of stuff that's been going on with me and I've lately been wanting to change the focus. I still do not know exactly what's going to happen with my marriage. Right now, things have been okay. They're not perfect because my husband is still involved with his religion but deciding not to let his beliefs influence what I do and what I do with the girls has helped out a lot. We still have our fights and our issues but I'm not so miserable as I have been. I celebrated Christmas this year for the first time since 2006. And I didn't do a whole lot. I didn't buy a lot of presents for the girls (they got more stuff from their aunt than they did from me). I bought a small fiber optic tree and put it on a book shelf in my office. I didn't do a ton of Christmas like activities but it was different in that I wasn't isolating myself from everyone because I couldn't stand to see anything regarding the holidays at all. And I took the girls trick-or-treating back on Halloween, something my husband STILL does not know about. Thanksgiving wasn't much different than it had been because that's the one holiday that's been okay to do. New Year's is at least tolerated and he'll somewhat celebrate with me though he probably wouldn't do anything if I didn't and all I really do is make munchies to eat at home and do the countdown thing with wine and sparkling grape juice for the girls (if they're up). This year, I also had the next door neighbor's little girl over since her parents wanted to go out.

Like I said, it wasn't much, I didn't go crazy but it was enough for me though he did start in on me one time because he really didn't like the idea of my doing presents with the girls on Christmas Day. Well, that's too bad. I'm not giving up holidays anymore and that's something he just need to understand. He was okay with it all and had no issues with me celebrating holidays before we got married. Just because he changed doesn't mean I did and I don't have the issues with holidays he does. I don't see them the same way he does. I don't have the beliefs he does. In fact, I'm getting farther and farther away from having any real beliefs in God at all, at least in as far as actually following a bunch of rules out of some book. I'm sure some people will be offended by my saying that but it's the truth. That doesn't mean I don't try to be a good person but it does mean that I'm not going to do something because the Bible says so. There has to be more to it than that.

Naturally, the new year tends to bring on the feeling of a clean slate and the need to make changes (and make resolutions). And for sure there are things I want to work on this year. Though I have done some posting in this blog, the blog I have for the girls has been largely neglected. This I plan to change. I want it to be more of a family blog than just a blog about the girls. I also want it to be more of a positive blog and to just have more to it in general than just me relating the going ons. So, with that in mind, my focus on this blog is changing to one that is more of a venting place. Because of that, I'm going to make it a little less visible and possibly even change the settings so that it can't be accessed by as many people, hard to say. But if you do come on here and read and sometimes respond, post a comment at least so I have somewhat of an idea as to what my next step with this blog will be.